OMG I have so much to tell you guys- it's weird.
First of all- I want to say thank you to Genie- just read your comment on my last post and seriously I appreciate that comment. You're the best! Thank you for helping me stay focused. You were right- it's pedal pedal pedal...not chip chip chip. :)
Second of all- I have over night developed a new crush and I feel like I'm in 6th grade again. Can I blame TOM? The hormones? The insanity? I don't know but you guys- suddenly I like this boy so much. His name is Matt. He's in my ward (church). He's new to the area and we've been emailing on FB for about a month now off and on- I've met him a few times; he comes to activities and always texts me to see if I'm going, but even though he's attractive, I chalked him up to socially awkward because he gets a little weird/shy around me, even though he emails me regularly. It frustrates me that he pretty much ignores me at all of these activities. I mean, he says hi, but then he's busy being swarmed by all of the girls around here. Anyway, he's tall (super tall to me- 6'3 ish?) dark and handsome (jet black hair- blue eyes...), has the most beautiful smile- but a tad bit shy. Somehow I went from not loving the shy/strangeness to finding it so endearing.
Last night I was sitting around so bored out of my mind I was going insane. I went to rent a redbox- for some reason the redbox wouldn't accept my debit card. I tried to go see a movie- but had no one to go with me and couldn't justify spending $11 by myself on myself just because i was bored. I tried to watch a movie at home- nothing on. I tried to watch one of my own dvds but couldn't take it. I tried to rally friends to go for a bike ride, no one wanted to. So I went outside by myself, made it half way to the garage, then decided it was too cold and ended up laying on the lounge chair for a few minutes trying to soak up sun. I got bored with that (because it was after 5 and too late to really get any sun) so I tried to read a book- wasn't in the mood. Everything was driving me insane. I was so restless and bored. And then Matt texted me to see what I was doing and I was like- COME SAVE ME! I'M SO BORED and he said, "let's do dinner and a movie then. :)" So off we went.
He is so cute. I mean, we've hung out before, but something was different this time. He came over once to hang out and sat on the edge of the couch the whole time. Every time I see him, now that I think about it, he's so formal. He was a lot more relaxed last night so we laughed a lot more, and I was able to get to know him better. We've finally hung out enough times that it's not so awkward and formal anymore...and now I'm really getting to see the guy that is beneath all of that politeness and formality. When he smiles he puts his face down, almost like he's smiling to himself. Sometimes he's looking at me when he smiles and I have to be the one to put my face down or my cheeks burn and give me away. After dinner we came back to my house to watch a movie- The Book of Eli. Um...yeah. It was his pick- not mine (obviously). I wanted to cuddle with him so bad but because it's taken him a month to ask me out I figured trying to get a cuddle in on the same night might overwhelm him and I didn't want to scare him away. So I built a little nest egg for myself on the couch (we have a sectional), and turned off all the lights and snuggled in to the little nest I'd made. Well, he kept shuffling around on the other side of the L. Finally I turned to look at him- "Are you okay? Do you need a pillow or something?" He just got up; "No, this just isn't comfortable here, I can't see" he complained while he tried to build his own nest and sucked at it (I'm the queen of nests- I mean...after all...I AM a pro at this stuff). "Do you want to come lay over here by me?" I asked nonchalantly. I knew he wanted to, I mean, my nest egg was just calling to him. Naturally he would want to lay in it, don't you think? I was just trying to be a polite hostess. Plus, he needed to be able to see the tv (even though it's a 50 inch and pretty much impossible NOT to see). He was already climbing over me before I even finished the sentence; "I'm not trying to intrude or anything" he explained and I had to laugh. He makes such...interesting comments some times. Half way through the movie he said, "Have you noticed that they are all still dead?" I started laughing out loud and made fun of him all night for it. I would turn to him and say, "Pretty sure they're still dead." It's cute how excited he was about the movie.
The whole night was AWESOME. He's so big that I felt like a pea. Maybe an ant. Maybe a baby flea...okay maybe not THAT small. His limbs seemed to be going everywhere; over the couch, over the back of the couch, up under my body. He scooped me up and moved me around like I weighed as much as a feather. When he left he had to crouch down to give me a hug. His hands are like, twice the size of mine. It seriously is so foreign to me that someone can be that big. I mean, I've dated tall guys before, but he's BIG all over- not just tall. I love it though (OK Genie, now you got me paranoid about that word).
Today I'm acting like a child- I can't stop thinking about him and being giddy and crap. It's not like anything happened- I cuddle with guys all the time and we didn't even kiss. Crap...kissing...I need to calm down. I'm trying my best to let him breathe because he seems to be slow mover guy- but it's getting hard because I'm becoming spastic girl in the meantime.
So I ate a bunch of chips in an effort to avoid texting him. It has to be TOM. Right? I mean, what's my deal? I'm NEVER like this; it's embarrassing. I barely even know the guy.