3 weeks!

Only 2 days til weigh in! I'm on a rampage!

I'm really working hard to have some kind of drop before my weigh in on Monday. I'm nervous I won't really drop that much; I've seen some really big drops on Twitter this week from some of my weight friends and after everyone else's weigh ins now I want to have a big drop too! Of course I didn't really care until Thursday night (when I started hearing about everyone else's weigh ins). The problem is that I haven't gotten all of my workouts in this week and I also had quite a few more diet cokes than I should have. I don't know why I drink the stuff, I mean, every time I take a sip I feel like my kidneys automatically start kicking me in the back.

But it's ok! I'm working hard now! Yesterday I ran 6.5 miles and I ate pretty good all day. I went to Disneyland with my friends last night and didn't have any treats (always have at least a churro)! I did end up eating a pretzel because I was so ravenous at one point I didn't think I would make it through the night. Don't get me wrong, I ate dinner before we left but I think all of the walking was causing me to burn right through the healthy dinner I had. So I had a pretzel, it was the healthiest thing I could find.

I'm on the rampage and I love it! I'm going home in three weeks to OK to visit my family and I want to lose at least 5 more pounds before then. I know I can do it! I know I can do more than 5 if I stick with it (maybe 7? 3 wks)! Right now I'm only up about 10 pounds from what I weighed when I first moved to CA (check out my Halloween pics from last year to give you an idea of my size this time last year- about 10 pounds down from my current weight)

so it would be so great to go home closer to that weight than where I am now. Obviously my family loves me regardless, but it's always humiliating when you see friends that you haven't seen in a year or longer and you've put on a few. When I went home in April, I was up 25 pounds and absolutely miserable. I didn't call anyone to tell them I was in town. But of course, I ran into people while I was out shopping with my family and I was so embarrassed and humiliated.

I was thinking about this last night while we were walking around Disneyland. I was thinking that once I get to goal weight, I want to post my before and after pics. Before meaning me at my heaviest (in April). I was thinking a lot about that before picture because I pulled it up the other day to look at it and it made me so sad. I've heard other people say that when they look at old pics and they remember what they looked like 50 pounds ago or whatever, they feel sad too. Why do we still feel sad when we're not there anymore? You'd think we'd look at the picture and be glad we've lost weight and moved away from that place- and yet seeing those pictures just brings up all of that pain that we felt at that time (or at least that's what happens to me). I wonder why that is. I feel that way when I look at skinny pictures too. I'm sad that I'm not there anymore, or that I didn't appreciate it while I was there. Ha! Don't worry- there are plenty of pictures that make me happy too. :)

Ok people- I have to go for a jog! Got weight to lose!

D