Thursday, March 18, 2010

Whiny Whiny Diz

You guys, I know I say this every week, but this time I mean it.  I think I'm seriously hovering at a stopping point.  Let me explain.

Last week on my Fat Flush diet, I went from 145 at WW on Monday to 139 by Thursday.  I was super excited and on a rampage.  But then I had a little plunge in will power, which meant a spike in the scale.  By Sunday I was back up to 142.  This week has been a struggle to get down and stay down between 141 and 139.  I cannot seem to stay down.  I've been working out everyday for 40 minutes or more (cardio).  I've been eating good by WW standards (not FF standards).  I wanted really bad to be at 139 by the time I went home this weekend, but after a quickie date (frozen yogurt) last night, I'm back up to 141.8 and I'm pretty sure that it won't be going back down by tomorrow (when I go home).  I'm torn between trying to do FF again, this time for the 2 weeks I'm supposed to...and just accepting I don't do well long term on diets like this and going back to doing regular WW.  Don't get me wrong, I think FF is fabulous.  But it takes a lot of energy to plan your meals and prepare them, and I'm just not good with that.  Never have been.  I get nervous though because I know as I get smaller, I'm going to have to work harder.  I purposely haven't been to WW to weigh in because I wanted to be down to 139 for weigh in, but I can't seem to stay there.  No matter what I do, if I SMELL food I gain back up to 141.  I simply touch 139 and then immediately bounce back up.  And then I struggle to get down to touch it again.  UGHHHHHH

The thing is, I really do want to lose these last 10 pounds.  For years I've always said this, and not done much about it.  But this year I really really want it.  I'm sick of always thinking about it.  I'm sick of never being able to quite get there.  The problem is, I'm realizing that I'm most likely going to have to put in everything I have in me, and I'm not sure I'm mentally ready to do that.  I know, you're thinking...what?  Why would you say you want to lose it all if you're not willing to do everything it takes?  Whaa whaa...who cares Diz.  I know.  I should stop whining, I know.  It's just hard.  It's mentally just as taxing as it is physically sometimes.

Ok, I feel a little bad for whining, but I'm leaving the post as is so you can at least know the struggle is there and I'm having to deal with it.



  1. hey girlfriend. I think you're beating yourself up too much. I def think you should not continue with the FF if you're already not enjoying it. You have to find what right for you. I'm wondering if maybe your body is just comfortable at 140 and doesn't want to let any more go. You're at least in your healthy weight range and you look hot... but i get it, if you have a weight in your mind you just want to get there. Have you set a goal with WW yet? Maybe that will give you the extra motivation you need. I know I can't wait to be a lifetime member.
    Just remember we're here for you no matter what, when you have bad days it just reminds us that we all feel that way and its normal. If you did everything perfect all the time and never had bad days i'd think "what's her problem?" Anyway, thats my 2 cents..
    Love ya sis. xo

  2. It is just hard. I completely understand. You have to work within the limits of what you can live with though. Have you considered shaking up your workout routine? That usually helps me when I'm stuck.

  3. Thank you both. I've been thinking about my attitude all day and I think you're both right; Keri- I do tend to get super hard on myself and I also never wait to see; I'm always making rash decisions within a 2 or 3 day time span. Patience! :) And Kat- I DO need to switch it up, and bad. I am dying for something new...

  4. Diz, your putting weigh to much on that number on the scale! you realy need to focus on eating and excersize! Stress is a horrile weight trap. My WW leader took 6 months to lose her last 10 pounds. She said when she stopped focusing on the number so much and focused on the food, water and excersize it came off! I hope it works for you too!

  5. How about focusing on maintaining where you are, then re-evaluate the situation in a couple of weeks? Having "ten pounds" looming in your head can be very daunting. If you decide to go forward, maybe set a goal of "just three or four", which seems more do-able.

  6. Well, okay, I may seriously NOT be the one to judge, so take this with a grain of salt.

    But, I don't think you were whining. I think you were expressing your frustrations and fears. That is rather different, I think.

    HEY, What am I saying, I think! I am a professional, licensed, degreed counselor. chuckle. so listen up! That was not whining. :D

    Okay. That whole number thing is--for a reason I don't understand--very real. You read it all of the time in blogs.

    I get stuck at 190 (some number to get stuck at, huh?) I was just thinking last night, that I always think of my self as a 200 pound woman. When I was 250, I thought of myself as being 200.

    That occurred to me because I made a comment on a post the other day and referred to myself as though I weighed 200 pounds. But I don't. and I haven't since December. Yet that is the number in my mind. I think subconsciously when I edge below 190, some kind of bell goes off that I've gone to far from "home" and am out of balance. I haven't thought this thru... but there is something to it.

    I'm guessing there's something to your stuck number, too.

    Here's what I do know: As long as we keep plugging, whether we figure out the details or not, we will get past our stuck number. We will!

    For now, go home and enjoy you visit. Don't go crazy, but do relax. Save the hardest fight for when you get back to SoCal. the rest may allow your brain to find the answer.

    Love ya, Diz!


  7. Saying how you feel is not wrong...not even close. You're so close even though you feel far. It's okay to get discouraged as long as you bounce back. And I'm confident you will.


  8. i have faith that you're not giving up, Diz. you will find the motivation to pull through, and you will find it within yourself.

    i hate that you're struggling, but it's a consolation to know i'm not the only one. that means you're not the only one, and we are not the only ones!

  9. A friend of mine reccommended the New Rules of Lifting for Women. I am finishing up reading it and it really makes a lot of sense. I would check it out - sounds like you are on a pleatueu - like me - and maybe need to change things up in a slightly different way - just look at things differently if you will.