Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I'm a Whiner, Complainer....LB Gainer.

I'm starting to get scared of the scale.  I saw some pictures on Facebook that were posted recently of me and I look pregnant, and I can tell from the way my face looks, that I'm getting fatter.  Well, I already knew I was getting fatter...but seeing the pictures confirmed it.  I don't want the scale to confirm it again is my point.

I'm really stressed out.  Money seems to be pouring out of my savings account faster than I can replace it and that is stressing me out.  I'm moving on Saturday and NR just called to tell me she hired movers to move her crap.  While I'm glad we're making progress, I'm torn.  I don't have anyone to help me move yet, but I don't want to pay movers to move my stuff, when I can get some boys to come do it for free.  But I need boys...


I'm sorry my posts have been so sporadic and bizarre lately.  I'm going through a lot right now and I don't know where to begin, or what to do. I just keep telling myself, just get through this week- just get through this week.  Next week will be so much better because I'll be moved into the new place, out of the old, and on with my life- and that part of things will be settled.  But then I think- aren't you always saying that D?  Aren't you always saying- next week?  When is it going to be this week?

I've also had an epiphany yesterday as far as my weight loss/gain.  The Fat Flush was low carb, high fat.  Weight Watchers is low fat/doesn't matter on carbs.  When you mix the two and then cheat...GAIN.  :)  This is why I'm gaining, I'm telling you.  YOU think I'm paranoid; I know my body.  I'm gaining.  I don't want to confirm it.  However, I know I can't really move forward until I know where I'm at- so I'm going to try to go in Friday to weigh in.  Saturday we're moving, starting at 7:30 am (weigh in is at 8).  Friday will still be tough though because I met this guy today while at work (he was networking) and he's doing some presentations on Friday at a high school I really want to get in with (I'm talking work stuff here...something I NEVER do), so he agreed to let me come to his presentation to introduce me to some key people.  It starts at 7:30.  How am I going to go weigh in?  If I can just get through this DAY...

My mind is fried.



  1. Deep breaths dear...remember always that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. You can do this....moment by moment, day by can do it.

  2. Hang in there Diz! Draz is right. Deep breathing sounds trite but it will help you and just focus on the fact you have a fresh new beginning with your new place. xoxo

  3. You do have an extraordinary amount of things going on this week so take a breath...Just get through it...I hope you get some relaxation time soon..

  4. And Diz - while I know you think it's true - it's not physically possible for you to look pregnant. You're stunning - simply stunning. Stand in the mirror and look - really look - and you'll see it too - if you let the inner voices stop telling you lies. You have a Drazil like me - they could be best friends...but they need to be kicked in the ass sometimes. They spew nonsense - just nonsense.

  5. Oh, dear. Although you are correct in that you can't always be saying "next week," in THIS case, YOU ARE MOVING and working and moving and have a new roommate and moving!

    You are also right about the diet switch-up. I don't want to bash WW since it has helped so many, but that program--at least the way it was presented--was really hard on me.

    The good news is that it is what clued me in on my trouble with gluten. I lost some weight w/ WW, but I kept feeling worse and worse.

    It was their punishment of fat and promotion of carbs. Since I kept feeling more & more unwell, I had to get to the bottom of it. I'm going somewhere here, Diz, hold on.

    When I suspected those whole grains (hear wheat) were the culprit, I had to load up on it to prove the point. Then cut it out. Then load up. You know I was stuck at the same weight all of Feb and March while I did that.

    The bottom line is: 1. Some people simply can't do lots of carbs 2. Switching food plans can wreak havoc. I'm certain this is part of the problem.

    The other part, Diz, is that you're just sressed out. It WILL be better next week. Too many changes these last two weeks. Hold on.

    Love you, fierce girl. Breathe in some of that ocean air and decide what you must do in the next three days, and what you can let go.


    P.S. You will have NO trouble getting guys to help you move. No trouble at all. :)

    P.P.S. So what if you did gain? Really. You will buckle down and lose it again. Quickly. You will.

  6. Diz your are amazingly beautiful and maybe you may be thinking its way worse than it is. You need to breathe and relax. I know not having money in the bank is stressful! But you can do this. You have come so far and the weight will come off. Its a hard time right now. Be patient with yourself and may the best choices you can as much as you can

  7. Seriously Diz. Gorgeous. You are beautiful honey. Both inside and out are spectacular. Remember that go doesnt ever give you more then you can handle. I know it feels like its raining, but instead of trying to force the sun to come out(impossible!!) grab and umbrella(do-able!!) :) Im thinking about you hon and sending you good vibes.

    Love love love ya.

    (Ps. When I moved, I was kinda loose with what I ate and did not other exercise. I lost 4 pounds or something like that. I wish the same upon you!)

  8. Im always here to hold your hand honey. Sometimes its hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But Ill let you borrow my flashlight. Its, like, super bright. It'll get us both through the dark :)

    Hugs, kisses and imaginary cookie dough and doughnuts(way less calories when they are imaginary!)

    Ps. Im sure you picked up on this but by "go doesnt give us more then we can handle" I missed a "d" at the end of that. :)


  9. Your post title just cracked me up. Better than being a joker, a smoker, and a midnight toker!

    You will get it together once you get into the new place. You and NR are going to have a blast together. Just grit your teeth and get through the move. Round up Dan the Man and his friends. They'll help you.

    Get this stressful week behind you and things will look so much brighter:)