I've had a lot on my mind lately.
Mainly my thoughts have been about this blog. Yesterday I received a comment that really bothered me and which got me thinking about the purpose of this blog. When I originally created it, it was because I was beginning a weight loss journey and I was hoping that this would be a safe place where I could voice my concerns, my struggles, and celebrate my triumphs with people that understood the journey I was on. I was seeking friendship and occasionally advice on how to overcome hurdles and find success. I have always tried to offer supportive comments to my fellow bloggers and cheer them on their journeys because that's what I thought the purpose of these blogs were- for find friendship and support.
But as my life has changed and as my focus has changed, so have my posts. I started writing about things that didn't relate to weight loss because I was receiving so much advice and support in my weight loss struggle, that I started hoping I could receive the same type of advice and support for other aspects of my life- mainly dating. It's another realm that is blurry and difficult for me at times. I'm not always sure that what I'm doing is right, and I hoped that because most of my followers are honest and care about my best interests, that I could trust their comments to help me see clearly in the decisions I have been making in other areas. Your comments have been supportive and encouraging, and I thank all of you for that. Seriously, I am so grateful for every minute you have taken to either read my blog, or commented on my posts. Whether it was support, congratulations, or advice, I have loved all of it.
But when I received this particular comment yesterday- I started thinking. In "real life" I am a very private person, and part of the reason I am so private is because I don't like people judging me, or thinking that because I've chosen to share something with them, they are suddenly entitled to express their opinion of what I am doing, whether it's right or wrong. Sometimes their comments and opinions are helpful, and sometimes they are not. Either way, it's hard to always see that they are being supportive, even when they are doing their best to be so. Yesterday I felt that familiar feeling that someone else's opinion was more important than my learning experience. I did not feel that the comment was supportive or encouraging at all; which was hard for me because I have tried so hard to only be supportive in my comments on other blogs and I guess inherently expected other people to have the same courtesy on my blog- although I've never actually expressed that because I've never realized that that's how I felt. I merely was trying to state that I missed the feeling of having a real connection with someone- even if that person was someone from my past who was not the best fit for me. But here I am trying to defend my own comment on my own blog, which irritates me all over again.
The bottom line is I've decided to withdraw talking about anything on this blog besides weight loss again. I'm not even sure I'm going to keep the blog going at all, to be honest. It served it's purpose in my life and I have not been needing it as much as I have in the past- which I'm sure you can tell through my attitude of my posts lately. I'm a little hesitant to get rid of it all together, so obviously it is still serving some kind of purpose for me. But even if I do keep it, it will only be about weight loss, as it was originally created to be about. I'm just not in the mood for anything that is not positive or uplifting. I get judged enough in my real life, I don't need any more judgments on my blog, even if they are meant to be helpful.
As soon as I've made my decision as to what I'm going to do with this thing, I'll let you guys know, of course. Again, I am so thankful for every word that all of you have written on my blog and in my life. You have been huge in helping me grow and learn about weight loss and myself.