The good news is I finally had a real talk with Marty last night about what I'm trying to do here, and I think he's taking me seriously this time. Bless his heart, he tries so hard to make me happy. Saturday night we had plans to go to dinner after the game was over. I kept trying to get out of it- I kept saying things like, "Don't you want to just go see a movie instead?" and finally he said, "Diz please wait to eat dinner with me." (He knew I was trying to eat earlier since we weren't meeting up until 8:30). "It's just so heavy so late" I mumbled, but I agreed. So he tried to pick something "healthy" (peruvian food)...which we dieters know is NOT healthy, and definitely not controlled portionally. I really REALLY tried to watch how much I ate and I think I did pretty ok, except I kept having one more bite- which finally put me over the edge. Of course by the time dinner was over it was 10:30 and we didn't even pop in the Redbox rental we got, we just fell asleep on the couch with our full tummies.
And then Sunday- binge day hit. Marty didn't make it to church because his back was hurting and I got kinda lonely without him- so I ended up in the corner binging on the nachos they had provided for the singles. At my church after the services are over they have a "linger longer" so that all the single people can mingle and meet- so they can date and get married. :) This is basically where I met Marty. Well, we officially met in church, he sat next to me once and then asked me where Sunday School was, but when I didn't show up in Sunday School, he followed me out to Linger Longer and started flirting with me there back in Feb. This Linger Longer yesterday was one of the few that I've been to without him since Feb. Not that I was stressed about it- I have other friends in the church, but I was missing him and ended up pigging.
And that led to going home, feeling guilty, and more pigging. Someone gave me Halloween candy at church- and that's what I was pigging on. Butterfinger bites, Twix bites (aren't the bite size ones genius?) , Hershey's, Almond Joy, Dove Dark Chocolates, you name it- I was eating it.
But late last night (2 freaking AM), hours after the whole Linger Longer/binge debacle had gone down, Marty was taking me home and we were standing outside of his car when I just blurted out- "Marty no more dinners. I'm serious- for two months, I can't do it anymore. It's causing me not to drop the weight I want. And I have GOT to get this weight off." He simply looked at me and said, "Fine. We'll just workout. No biggie." I love how undramatic he is.
The thing is though, we've had this conversation before. And we always end up back in some delicious restaurant in the corner booth- moaning inappropriately as we gorge ourselves on whatever deliciousness they've placed in front of us. But tonight was different. We had plans to do Monday night Chicken Fajitas at Sharkey's on the Pier (it's $4.50 a pop and some of the BEST fajitas EVER) and when I got to his house he looked at me and said- "Gym first." We went to the gym for an hour and a half. Then on the way to Sharkey's he looked at me and said, "I think we need to go have cereal at home instead." I smiled. "It's only for 2 months" I said. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye- "I know Diz".
So we had cereal after our workout. I'm so grateful that he's so understanding and supportive- I feel like maybe now I'll have a fighting chance. I ran 5 miles tonight, lifted some serious weights, and also did some yoga stretches to keep my legs from being too sore tomorrow. I feel great! What a great way to start out a great week.
I'm realizing how important it is to enlist your friends and family around you as you make this journey. I'm sure most of you are like- Duh Diz, but to me, I never wanted to admit 'this is what I am doing' before. I would've rather sold my firstborn than tell a guy I was dating that I was on a diet. But things are changing, and as i continually see support from my guy, I'm encouraged more and more to make better choices for myself.
Ok guys- I'm out! I'm so tired.
D
Hey, Diz.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the gain--but glad you had that talk with Marty. If you meant it, stick to your word. If he cares, he'll honor your request.
But, ya know, guys can hear a "maybe we can" even if it's only a half thought. They're good that way...
While they have not developed that skill by analyzing the refusal to have food, they are able to detect ambiguity better than radar detects bomber planes.
So make sure you mean what you say, and guard against ambivalence as you would enemy shipers. If you want that cheescake, just tell him your calling a one hour hiatus from the diet war. :) That way he won't have to guess if your 'no' really means 'yes.' He will ALWAYS guess that it means yes if given half a chance. :) Guys are good that way...
Hmmm. Weird speech, even for me. Love ya, Diz
Deb
Of course Aunt Flo shakes things up a bit. Every 4th week I have to work a bit harder to see positive results because I deal with water weight. It happens, but the following week is usually better.
ReplyDeleteJust do the best you can do, and remember it's okay to say no to Marty and even yourself sometimes. You can totally do it even if that means you have to give yourself pep talks everyday. I'm not above it, and it works so try it.
Much love!!!
Just make this week count...make today count..and go from there.
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