Is it worth it? Let me work it.

Well, things are getting better, as I'm learning they always do. Marty and I have been talking a lot lately about my weight loss and my blog- and I think he's really starting to understand where I'm coming from. This morning on the way to weight watchers we were talking on the phone and I told him I was going to weigh in. He thought it was cool that there was a place that I could go to to weigh in; up until I told him this he said he's never heard of that before. "I didn't know there were places like that where you could go to get weighed", he said...as I picked up my jaw off the floor. How could he not have heard of weight watchers before? Of course, I should've taken the opportunity to tell him it was weight watchers...I kind of left the name out of it, but I didn't take the opportunity and now i'm kind of kicking myself about it. It's not that big of a deal, he was so supportive, so why didn't I just say- yes you have- it's Weight Watchers? But I didn't. Anyway he was impressed and excited about this "new place" where I could go to get tips and tools to help me. (Little does he know I've been doing this for a month now.)

He left this morning to go out of town for a week and he's nervous about the work dinners he's going to have to go to while he's out of town. Apparently they are these huge dinners and he's tried already to get out of them but I guess some lady at his work has taken it upon herself to make sure he's there. I'm not sure why she thinks it's so important for him to be there, but apparently she left him a message saying she would save him a seat at the dinner right next to her (maybe it's just because he's so cute- he DOES get hit on all the time) and he better be there. He's frustrated and stressed about these dinners (we've been talking about them for a few days now)- it's actually kind of cute. Anyway, being able to talk about it really gave us/me the breakthrough I needed to help him realize that this is how I'm feeling too- and by the end of the conversation I really feel like he understood and knows what I'm going through; which was a huge relief/support for me. Plus I love seeing that he gets stressed out and frustrated about dinner/food too. Up until now all I've seen is that he works out, eats whatever he wants, and doesn't have to worry a lick about weight. Now I know differently.

Marty's out of town for a week- so while I'm sad he's gone, I'm ready to WORK! Even though I gained a pound this week I'm so close to leaving the 150's that I'm really amped to just buckle down and sweat it out. I've eaten so crappy these last few days that basically anything I put in my mouth at this point gives me a stomach ache. The good news is I went shopping today and bought a bunch of fruit and veggies and I'm ready to eat healthy and work out, work out, work out! I'm about 5-7 pounds away from the "healthy BMI" zone. So...5 pounds away from a normal range for my height. I'm so excited I can't stand it! I know I can do it- it's just a matter of buckling down. I really want this 5 pounds (plus a few more) gone before the end of the year. We have...how many days til Jan 1? 52!!!! I know 5 doesn't seem like a big number for some, but obviously if you look at my track record- you know how hard I struggle to lose weight. It's just not something I like doing. But it must be done, and I can tell I'm getting better at it so I'm okay with it. Of course I'd like to go faster but if I can't keep myself on track, then I have to accept it's a slow process and move on. I just have to recognize my limitations and my abilities and work within my personal range.

52 days til Jan 1. Crunch time. I really want to end the year strong and happy!

It looks like this year I won't be going anywhere for Thanksgiving. While at first I was a little sad to miss my family on that important day, at church yesterday this girl asked me if I wanted to go feed the homeless up in LA and now I'm super pumped. What a good experience for me! Plus, if I'm just with a group of my friends feeding the homeless, I don't think I'll have much chance to overeat and kill myself. Hopefully it will work out perfectly.

Ok- I'm out. I'm starting to ramble and i need to hit the gym. Later!

D