My Diabolical Plan.

"If this works, my life will be totally different."

I feel like my life is changing. I'm changing. It's this diet/lifestyle change.

Last night Marty and I went to dinner at this restaurant here in Orange County- Javier's. Now, it was my choice to go there. When Marty and I were picking a restaurant a few dates ago, I found out he'd never been there and I wanted to be there when he first experienced it; so we agreed to go together for his first time. That was 4 months ago. Last night we finally made it to Javier's...for Marty's first experience. I was so excited. For one thing, they have this Jidori Chicken that is UH-MAZING. For another, the Jidori Chicken is on the "healthy" menu. I was feeling so good about things. Yesterday was feeling like a break through for me. My legs felt like a million bucks. My workout was intense. I was eating healthy (except for those stupid cupcakes!!). And then we went to Javier's.

Javier's. Oh how I hate thee now. Thou hast set me back 2 pounds and a stomach ache. I have been rolling around in my bed all night. I will never again visit thy hallowed halls. I will never again partake of thine unhealthy yet tasty Mexican food.

The sad thing is, Marty and I split the entree. I had water. I tried to monitor the chip intake (which is super hard for me cause chips are a trigger food and I was hungry). It was the ice cream- the ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery afterwards that finally sent me over the edge. Coffee flavored ice cream with marshmallows and almonds. I haven't had "real" ice cream for months. It was so heavy and so thick and so creamy. And so laden with calories. Un-necessary calories. Calories I don't want or need. It literally made me sick. For one thing, I was already full. Over the limit full. For another, it was just too thick and creamy and I couldn't stop thinking about how much I didn't want it. I've never in my life thrown away ice cream, but I had to throw away my ice cream last night (I made Marty throw it away for me).

The good news is, I threw away my ice cream. I've been thinking a lot about last night's events and yes, I had a bad night. But I'm changing. I don't want ice cream. Yes, I occasionally splurge on cupcakes. But not cupcakes with frosting, and not cupcakes I bought. I choose fruits and veggies over cheese and crackers. I choose fat free yogurt over thick and creamy ice cream, and that's considered a "splurge" now, not a "must". I drink water instead of soda (ok...sometimes I might splurge and have a diet coke, but it's getting rarer and rarer). I stop when I'm full and I'm learning to listen to my body. If I'm not hungry, I don't eat. If I'm hungry, I think about the options I have. I think about what's healthy, not just what I want. I think about the vitamins and nutritious value of the things I eat; I also think about the fat content and the calories. Yes, I have bad days. But they ARE getting less and less frequent. I AM changing. And I love the changes that are occuring.

I love that I can fit into my skinny jeans. Jeans that...4 months ago, I could barely get on, let alone button. I love that I can ride my bike 22 miles and not be sore the next day. I love that I get up at 5:30 am and go to yoga. I love the way clothes are starting to look on my body again. I love feeling my body get smaller and firmer. I love the confidence I'm building in myself.

I'm getting there! One ice cream at a time, I am getting there. :)

D