Saturday, April 17, 2010

Still spinning.

Well, today has been an interesting one.

For the record, I did NOT get the pizza last night- I stuck with the grapes.  I ate the whole bag, mind you...but at least it was only grapes.

Here's the real stickler.  After I wrote that post last night, I went to the restroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed and the blasted scale was gone.  I forgot the roommate was taking it.  Seriously, I started having a mini freak out.  I didn't get to weigh myself this morning; in fact, I haven't weighed all day.  This is seriously tripping up my game.  I'm afraid to eat anything because I'm constantly wondering what's going to happen tomorrow- I'm going in BLIND.  I will have no idea what to expect (except that I can tell you from the 100 weigh ins previous to today that so far I've lost NOTHING this week.  I expect to be up about a pound tomorrow...but have no idea at this point what will happen.)

So Dan and I went to dinner and a movie tonight.  I know, what?  I said I was done.  I thought we were.  Apparently we're still getting to know each other.  So many things in my life are so upside down right now... what is happening to me?

Another friend of mine moved in to my place tonight as well.  Dan was a sweetheart and came over and helped us move her in.  But then she told me that tonight she was looking on Craigslist to look for housing and noticed that my apartment was on craigslist for rent.  I'm taking that as a sign that maybe we should keep looking for places to move out to.  AAAAGHHHH.  And the drama...and the stress...continue.

Sigh.

D

6 comments:

  1. Well see if your landlord only had that up because he/she thought u were leaving. If your friend is going to stay and you still want to live there talk to the landlord. Things have a way of working themselves out. Diz I am so proud of you for eating the grapes! I know that you have been under a huge amount of stress but you let your will power and self love shine. As for the scale, I told you when you don't have the oppurtuity to weigh in all the time you self edit more. I noticed it with myself. Because you can't check the results, your more mindful of your food choices. I know this is causing a freak out but give it a try. I know how strong and amazing you are!

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  2. Woohoo on the grapes. Sweetie - everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright now - it's not the end. Lean on us. We are here for you. In the meantime, try to Let Go and Let God. It can help. This too, shall pass my dear.

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  3. Diz, in a weird way, it sounds like things are kinda working out for you there... Maybe you needed a divorce from the scale. Maybe you needed more time with a really nice guy. Go with all of this; it might be good....?

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  4. Good job on eating the grapes. I would have dived into a pizza. You have some amazing will power. I must say Dan seems like a really nice guy. You never know waht may happen in the future : )

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  5. I hate uncertainty. It certainly :) doesn't bode well for diets as anxiety eating tends to go with that. You're doing great. Frozen grapes are exceptional for the munchies.

    All the above commenters said what else I was going to say--so just read them again as tho they were from me. :)

    Deb

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  6. you're gonna make it, Diz.

    you had the resolve to resist pizza- WIN!

    frozen grapes are one of those things i hear so many good things about but have yet to try!

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