Monday, April 19, 2010

No scale= madness

I'm going insane without the scale.  I mean...

It's good, and it's bad.  I have NO idea how much I weigh right now...nor have I known since Thursday.  If I had to guess, I would guess 142.  Looks about that weight.  I went running today and have been pretty good on my diet, except 2 things.  I've been eating frozen grapes like a crazy, and I had 3 pieces of bread with olive oil and garlic butter tonight with dinner.  Eh...not such a good choice.  But other than that...things are looking up!  I miss WW, I would love to go and weigh in, but I'm waiting til Saturday when it's my normal weigh in day.  They only let you weigh in once a week so if I go now, I won't be able to go on Saturday again.  I agree with Chunky Chick that not having a scale around can actually cause you to edit yourself during the day.  It IS kind of liberating in a way...but also just nerve wracking.  I've begun to realize over the last few days that I have this insatiable desire to know the absolute ending to everything- and realizing this is helping me to let go a little more.  I mean, I guess I don't have to know what is going to happen with Aaron and Dan...I don't have to know my exact weight every single second, and I don't have to know what's going to happen next month.  I just need to relax...and I'm really trying to do this.

Which brings me to the "too hard on yourself" thing.  I've decided the best thing I can do at this point is just try to focus more on the positive and try to just let everything else go as much as I can.  Deb made a fantastic comment on my last post about forgiveness and excusing poor behavior as not being the same thing, and this comment has sunk in deep as I've contemplated exactly what I've been doing.  I decided that I've been forgiving myself instead of just excusing myself, which is good...but I also think I need to keep a closer reign on how many times I excuse myself to have something I want.  Does this make sense?  I hope it does.  I just think she was so articulate in explaining the difference between the two and it really helped me to focus correctly as I need to...

Well friends- I am turning in for the night.  I hope you all are doing fabulous and learning great things!

D

8 comments:

  1. Wow. Articulate. I'm going to save THAT comment to use as proof someday! chuckle. I love you Diz!

    And I'm glad my comment helped. It's a fine line--one that I, myself, fail to navigate correctly way too often. sigh. It's a learning process. :)

    What happened with the apartment?!?

    Deb

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  2. Diz your amazing! I know you are going stir crazy with out the scale but I bet your doing better than you think. In gerneral you are doing amazing. Big Hugs

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  3. Breaking up with the scale might be one of the best things you'll ever do. Stay strong.

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  4. Not being a slave to the scale is a good thing :)

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  5. you are more than a number on a scale. i know it's cliche, and i know you know that, and i know you're working hard. i admire your strength and balance.

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  6. Oh Diz, you're strong for cutting ties with your scale. If it were me I would have run to walmart and bought one that same day. Miss chatting with you btw (check your email)... loves ya...

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  7. I am a big fan of weighing in no more than once a week. You know that, right? So I think it will be awesome to see how you do on Saturday. You might do even better than you think. :)

    I'm back home so I have a lot of blog catching up to do, but yours had to be first. xoxo

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  8. just found you through seth's blog. Looking forward to following your journey!

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