Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Long and Short of It...

Well friends, I just want you to know I'm exhausted today.  Why?  Because I was up til 3 am cutting ties with Dan.  I am NOT going to the concert this weekend.  We're not even talking for a few weeks so that both of us can get some air.  When we do speak again, it will be as friends only- he understands and supports my decision.

After several hours of explaining ourselves, he tried to convince me to still come to the concert and even though everything was finally resolved and the pressure was lifted, I kept to my guns and said no.  I explained to him that I needed to commit to a decision and this was the decision I made (thank you Genie).  It felt good to stick up for my feelings and myself, and even though he wasn't 100% happy with my choice, he finally told me he agreed with me that my decisions were for the best.

So I'm finally at peace with this particular situation.  One thing I mentioned to him during the 5 hour marathon talk was that about a month or so ago, I was really working on my goals and I was working on learning to just be happy.  At some point within the last few weeks I have wandered from that path, and all I have felt for the last month is anxiety and stress.  I'm not angry about it because I know that that's what I've chosen to focus on, but I don't like my life when it's like this.  I've been off my routine; I'm learning about myself and my triggers and what I need to stay focused.  While he didn't understand exactly what I was talking about, I know you guys do, because you've been on the ride with me (somewhat I know my posts have been sporadic).  So that has become my goal for May.  Focusing back on happiness and peace- not on boys; not on my new apartment and what it can do for me (even though it is important to feel at peace in your environment); not on how much money I do or don't have.  I want to enjoy my life again, because it's so wonderful and I have too many things that are so great in it.

So there's my goal for May.  Find my inner peace and happiness again.  Focus on saving money, working out, praying and pondering the beauty in my life and how blessed I am.  That's the goal...



  1. I always try to never ever plan dates more than 4 days ahead of time. I hate having a date planned, then I decide the girl I asked is ugly or stupid and I'm forced to either go anyway, or ditch her. Both of those options suck.


  2. Re: Mormon Bachelor Pad's comment. :o lol. I predict he will be a bachelor for quite some time. chuckle.

    Re: you. :D :D :D Good job, fierce girl!


  3. Im proud of you honey. Its never easy, but this was necessary. High fives and hugs!


  4. YAY - my little turkey - you did it! Aren't you relieved? Your heart must feel better now that it's been true to how you have been feeling...though it is hard. Now on to YOU - and getting back to being the best YOU that you can be. Smooches.

  5. good for you! i completely understand about wandering from you focus (working on you) and choosing to focus on other people/things. it's definately time to take care of you. enjoy it...afterall, you are great :)

  6. I just started reading your blog but it is good to see you taking control and sticking up for what is best for you! Way to go!

  7. Sounds like an amazing goal. I too am trying to find the "connection" I somehow lost. Oh Diz, just reading your blog makes me feel happiness and peace. I think you have that affect on so many people.. you're the best. Love ya!
    Btw congrats on sticking to your guns.. thats not an easy thing to do and you rocked it out.

  8. Well I am very happy for you! You are the only one who knows what is right for you. I wish I could be as strong!