I survived my weigh in. I dropped 2 pounds this week. Go me! I'm satisfied with that. While ultimately my goal was to get OUT of the 140's, I'm going to have to wait another week to do so. Which is ok, because what I didn't realize today, but my leader pointed out, is that I made my 10% goal, which ended up being really good for me. They did this little honor/reward thing I wasn't expecting and asked me how I did it and what it feels like, and I wasn't expecting any of this so I had to actually stop and think about what was happening right then. Believe it or not, I was at a loss of words for like, 15 seconds. It dawned on me in that moment that I just lost 10% of my body (Well...I didn't just lose it, but anyway). It's funny because while I was hemming and hawing up there in front of everyone, I caught myself referring to my friends that are helping me, and when the leader asked if it was friends in the room, I said no- my blogger friends...which then meant I had to tell everyone about my blog and my blogger friends. I felt a little sheepish but no one seemed to care. But after I sat down and was admiring my little key chain (my first key chain ever- normally I just get a sticker), I thought back to 10% ago and I was just so grateful that 10% is gone. I want it to be gone forever. The way I feel about myself and my accomplishments now vs how I felt back then...yeah. Feels good.
And the other good news is that now I can relax and go enjoy my bagel with my roommate, because the pressure is off for a few more days. I've thought a lot about what you guys have said about the scale and weighing obsessively. I know I have a problem; it's a compulsion more than anything else. I feel like a hoarder, only opposite- and with my personal body. I'm ashamed to admit I weigh in as much as I do. Sometimes I weigh in as much as 6 or 7 times a day. Pretty much anytime I use the restroom, I weigh. Is this bizarre? I've been thinking about WHY I do it...I think it brings me comfort. You would think it would bring me anxiety, but it only brings me anxiety when I'm about to go to WW and I see numbers creeping upwards instead of staying the same or moving down. Strange, I know. Anyway, what you've all said is very poignant and has given me some things to think about. I don't know if I can "quit" the scale right now, at least not cold turkey, but in a week my roommate is moving and I will be forced to quit because I won't have one anymore...and it will be interesting to see what happens. Part of me is kind of excited after reading what some of you have said regarding the consistent weighing, but part of me is really anxious. How one person goes a whole week or even longer without weighing...OMG that is just unfathomable to me. I will be so stressed when I have no idea where I'm at before a weigh in. And yet I will have to enter this realm soon.
Okayyyy....now that I've unveiled another one of my weird quirks...I think I'm going to stop now. It's Saturday, time to go look at some apartments! Wish me luck in finding my new home!